Worth It

As a dancer, I’m surrounded by successful people every day- rich customers, girls who’ve gotten rich off customers- as well as people who’d have you believe they’re a lot better off than they are. Sometimes I do think ‘what’s wrong with me?’ when I hear about girls my age who own houses and drive luxury cars. I compare myself just long enough to remember that I don’t care. I genuinely am grateful for a decent apartment, and any car that runs is a big improvement over the bus.

Sometimes I think that the people who have more than me actually have less than me because they have less appreciation, less things they really love. After all, we dancers know that money brings everything except true love. We buzz around the rich men like flies, flirting, complementing, getting that dance, that room, that tip, that promise that he’ll come back and see us, then it’s on to the next one. The guys we love, the guys we date and marry, put money on their books when they’re in prison, move across the country with when they join the military, the guys we pray for and fight with on the phone in the dressing room, how many of them are actually rich?

Since money has never made me love a man, what makes me think that any amount of self-made riches will make me love myself? 

I think what most of us girls, even the ones that brag, are really after is stability. Stability, like love, comes in different forms for different people. Some girls won’t feel like they’re safely away from the grasp of poverty until they get that two story house and that car they’ll be paying off forever. Some girls just want enough saved in the bank to pay a couple months rent in case something should happen. Some girls will give every penny they make to a lawyer because they won’t feel safe and secure until their man comes home. While I have my personal opinions about which investments are better in the long run, I know that what’s right for me isn’t what’s right for another girl. So when I overhear girls brag about their latest purchase or make plans with someone on the other end of a long-distance call, I’m not jealous. I’m just thinking that I hope whatever she has is really worth it.